Have you ever been driving and a song comes on the radio that you love and suddenly you’re in a better mood?  Music evokes emotions.

When our children are babies, we often put them to sleep listening to lullabies or classical music.  We sing to them. They are exposed to songs in the car as we drive.  Music becomes the background noise of their life.  As we and our children grow older, we often forget the positive benefits of music. 

As I sit here writing this blog, I am listening to a playlist I created to motivate me and help me focus.  Child and adolescent therapists are aware of the benefits of music as a tool to assisting with self-regulation, and when I work with children, teens, and parents I recommend the creation of playlists for different moods.

Many research studies have been conducted – including brain imaging studies – to determine the effects of music on mood and emotional regulation and the therapeutic benefits. Children and teens who struggle with emotional regulation lack the tools to calm themselves when overwhelmed by their emotions, have difficulty changing negative moods into positive ones, and can become stuck in anxious loops.

Discovering coping skills to help your child or teenager is always a goal of child and teen therapy, and using music for self-regulation is a powerful tool to have in any child, adolescent, or parents’ self-regulation toolbox!

The Benefits of Listening to Music Include:

• Decreased mood swings

• Lower blood pressure

• Decreased anxiety

• Increased focus and attention

• Lower stress levels

• Change mood from a negative mood to a positive mood

• Emotional regulation

Different songs and different styles of music evoke different feelings in each of us.  The lyrics in music speak to us and often reflect our inner emotions or struggles. When children or teens are struggling with large emotions, music can serve to calm those emotions and the racing thoughts which feed those emotions.

For a child or teenager with ADHD, listening to music when they have to do a task which requires sustained mental stamina such as homework, may help them increase their focus.

For a child or teen with anxiety, listening to music may help them shut out negative thoughts and ruminations (when the get stuck on a negative idea), and promote self-regulation.

For the depressed child or adolescent, music can assist them to up regulate (elevate their mood), or can comfort them when they are sad.  

So how do you start creating a mood playlist?  Can you create one for your child or teen?  Does it have to be just one type of music? Are there specific music genres that work better for different moods?  All of these are important questions – but the short answer is that playlists are highly individual, just as each person’s emotions and needs are different.

Choosing the Songs

In an age when many people use music streaming services such as Spotify, Apple Music, or Tidal, creating a playlist with a range of songs you love or that appeal to certain moods has never been easier.   Gone are the days of making mixtapes.  If you already have a playlist or multiple playlists created on one of these services you have already begun the process.  If you do not have playlists set up on one of these services, you can start by creating what I call the master playlist.  My master playlist has music of numerous genres on it.  Once you have the master playlist, you can start by listening to it and placing songs into new playlists based on the mood that is invoked when you listen to it.  Some ideas are:

1.            Workout

2.            Academics/Work

3.            Angry

4.            Anxious

5.            Sad

6.            Peppy

7.            Mellow

8.            Fun

9.            Sleep

10.         Favorites

The options are unlimited, and you can have as few or as many playlists as you want or need. Some songs will be on multiple playlists and that is okay.  It is important that as you listen to each playlist, you pay attention to any songs that change your mood from the mood you are attempting to support or create with the songs.  Those songs should be removed from the playlist or transferred to the playlist that reflects that mood.

Creating The Playlists

You will need to assist younger children to create playlists and it takes some observation and detective work to determine which mood songs invoke for younger children as they will be unaware of their reactions much of the time.  Notice if they begin to dance or sing along to a song which indicates it makes them happy or energized.  If they are angry or upset try different songs and see if there is a reaction. 

Most importantly, listen to their feedback.  If they say they don’t like a song, it is “stupid”, or too babyish then it should not be included.  Have conversations with them about songs they like. The conversations are a great way for you to connect with your child and to learn what they like and have them learn about you by discussing what songs you like and why.

What Type of Music to Include

Music choice is very individualized and a song or music genre that appeals to one person may annoy another person.  I believe that the genre chosen is not as important as the mood it triggers in the person listening to it.  There are also developmental factors for children.  Many babies prefer lullabies, classical music, or specific children’s music.  There is no wrong music to place on your playlist; let your, your child’s, or your teen’s reaction guide the choices.

Music as a coping strategy does not work for everyone. Respecting if your child does not love listening to music is important.  There are many other strategies that may work with someone for whom music is not an effective tool.  Respecting your child or adolescents’ preferences and what strategies they respond to will lead to success.

A Final Note

Studies have shown that the effects of music are unique to each individual listening to the music. Music that makes you feel happy and lifts your mood may not have the same effect on your child or teen. Experimentation is necessary and it takes time and patience to determine the effects of not only different genres of music on your child or teen but also different songs. Lyrics are often as important as the music to a child or teen. Some people like a strong beat in their music and others focus more on the melody.

It is also important to note that our musical taste can change with time and songs we love become annoying with too much listening to the song. Be flexible in adding or subtracting songs from the playlists and re-visit them every couple of months to see if they are still being effective or need to be changed.

The time and effort will be worth it once you have the playlists completed and they are working for your child or teen. In the end, you have provided them a powerful tool to help with self-regulation!