Your Child’s Therapist is Not The Wizard of Oz
Pulling Back the Curtain on Child Therapy
Therapy for children looks very different from the examples of therapy you see in movies and TV shows. Parents are often confused by this difference and are left asking, What’s going on here?
The Wizard of Oz is the perfect analogy for therapy with children. Children who struggle with behaviors and emotions (the Wicked Witch) benefit from a therapist (Glinda the Good Witch) to navigate their struggles and develop coping skills and strategies (the Yellow Brick Road) and achieve success and thrive (Returning Home). Like the characters in The Wizard of Oz, they arrive on this journey with many of the strengths they need to achieve success in therapy but without a belief in themselves and their abilities.
For you the parent, though, it can often seem like your child’s therapist is like the Wizard of Oz, hiding behind a curtain, pulling levers, and flashing lights, and doing no real work. Although that may appear to be the case, your child’s therapist is doing real work with your child.
So, let’s begin pulling back the curtain and identifying strategies your child’s therapist is using and demystifying child therapy!
Why are my child and their therapist playing games?
Great question! Children learn through play. The skills used in playing a game with their therapist include social skills, learning to win and lose without becoming angry, negotiation, problem-solving, conflict resolution, and waiting their turn. All of these skills are essential to success in school and at home and can be taught to your child while playing games.
Some of the games used are specifically targeted at an emotion with questions for which the child needs to provide an answer. Other games are regular games your child would play with others. The games allow the therapist to model strategies for your child, teach them skills, and trigger a behavior or emotion so the therapist can assist the child to identify strategies to handle the situation better.
A bonus to playing games with your child in therapy is that it makes therapy fun, not a chore, and helps to create an alliance between your child and their therapist which is essential to successful outcomes for therapy.
Act It Out
Role play is another common activity with children in therapy. Therapists cannot be there when your child is struggling in school, with friends, or at home.
One strategy to bridge the gap between what happens outside therapy sessions and in therapy sessions is to try to recreate those situations in therapy through role play.
Role play may be done using puppets, dolls, or scenarios that have been identified by you the parent with which your child struggles.
Your child’s therapist is gaining insight into how your child reacts to different situations, what triggers your child, and why your child responds that way using this strategy. It also provides your child’s therapist the ability to correct negative behaviors and develop positive strategies to replace those behaviors.
Worksheet and Therapeutic Activities
The use of worksheet and therapeutic activities “looks” more like what you probably expect from your child’s therapy sessions. Worksheets can be used for thought records, to assist your child to gain insight into and perspective on the effects of their emotions, or to work through problems they face step-by-step.
Some children do not respond well to the use of worksheets and the therapist may need to be creative and turn them into an ask and answer activity. Therapeutic activities often look like a combination of a game with a worksheet or talking through a problem. “Simon Says” is a good example of a therapeutic activity when used in a session. Although “Simon Says” is a game, it can be used to address following directions, answering a question (e.g. Simon Says tell me about a time you got angry at school), or flipping roles and letting your child take control and see how they approach being in control of the situation.
Your child’s therapist puts thought into which worksheets and therapeutic activities will work with your child and your child’s personality.
Relaxation, Breathing, Progressive Relaxation, and Physical Exercises
All of these techniques are used to teach your child about self-regulation. Children with emotional dysregulation feel that dysregulation in their bodies. It is essential that they become aware of their body’s reaction to their emotions.
Your child’s therapist will work with your child to develop coping skills and strategies to help them regulate their body. For some children, physical exercise such as push-ups or running flights of stairs helps them to calm their bodies. For other children, tensing and relaxing areas of their bodies leads to relaxation and emotional regulation. Some kids regulate their bodies when they close their eyes and visualize a happy place.
The strategies that work for your child may increase emotional dysregulation and stress in another child. Your child’s therapist has worked to identify what works best for your child. You should always ask your child and their therapist which strategies work for best for your child.
Imagination Play
Your child has an incredible imagination and your child’s therapist know that. Imagination play is a wonderful technique to learn your child’s inner world. Many children have an easier time talking about their struggles, behaviors, and emotions when they are depersonalized and become a story in which they do not star as the main character.
Through imagination play, anything is possible and your child’s therapist can learn what your child wishes was different in their world, what their ideal world looks like, and what they would change if they could change aspects of their life, emotions, or behaviors.
Using the information your child’s therapist discovers in imagination play, the therapist can come up with strategies which will be more effective and meet the needs expressed in the imagination play when possible.
Taking A Walk
Have you wondered why your child’s therapist wants to take a walk with your child? There are several reasons.
Your child spends much of their day, especially when they are in school, sitting. They equate sitting with schoolwork or doing something they don’t want to do. When your child’s therapist takes them on a walk, your child is more likely to open up and talk.
A second reason for your child’s therapist walking with your child is that exercise helps with self-regulation, releases endorphins which elevate mood, and lowers walls your child may put up when they are forced to sit, stare at an adult, and answer questions.
Listening to Music
There can be several reasons your child’s therapist uses music in their sessions. Music, like exercise, releases endorphins and can be helpful with self-regulation and relaxation. In a session, your child’s therapist may ask your child to identify songs and lyrics they love to promote a discussion of why they love the songs and what the lyrics mean to them.
Your child and their therapist can make playlists to match moods and to be used to help regulate when your child is feeling stressed. Your child’s therapist knows that listening to music can assist with focus, motivation, calming down, and reducing stress.
Doing Homework With Your Child
You didn’t hire your child’s therapist to do homework with your child, however, sometimes they will. If a child struggles with emotional regulation and behaviors during homework, it can help for the therapist to have them do some homework during the session, not to act as a tutor, but to address the emotions and behaviors homework triggers.
Reward Time and Breaks
During your child’s therapy session, they work very hard and your child’s therapist builds in breaks and/or reward time to reduce the stress of the session and to reward your child for their hard work. Working for a reward is one of the best ways your child’s therapist has of getting your child’s cooperation. We all are more motivated to work hard if we have an incentive. Sometimes your child’s therapist may let your child play with a ball or a fidget while talking or doing work as that can help your child with focus and they will become more forthcoming. Reward time and breaks are evidence-based strategies and contribute not only to the success of your child’s session with their therapist but also lay the foundations for behavioral interventions at home and in the school settings.
Final Words
Hopefully this peek behind the curtain has helped you to better understand the therapeutic processes that your child’s therapist uses to assist your child to reach their goals.
Whether your child is like the Scarecrow who does not believe he has a brain and wants to be smart, the Lion who is afraid of everything and wants to be courageous, or the Tin Man who doubts he has a heart and wants to feel love, your child’s therapist is not the Wizard of Oz.
The Wicked Witch behaviors and emotions your child is struggling with are overwhelming and scary and you want to find someone to help them. When your child’s therapist is their Glinda, heling them to navigate the yellow brick road, teaching them to believe in themselves and their abilities, and helping them discover coping skills and strategies they will achieve their goals.
Don’t be afraid to talk to your child’s therapist, to ask why they are using a different strategy, to work with them to learn the strategies which work best for your child. Assisting a child to overcome their behavioral and emotional struggles takes a team working together.
Communication and a willingness to travel the yellow brick road with your child and their therapist will ensure that your scarecrow, lion, tin man, or Dorothy will find their way to the rainbow!